Let's Get This Straight!

I’ve watched Duck Dynasty.  Now, I don’t PVR it or anything wild like that, but I can’t say I haven’t found it amusing from time to time.  To be honest, I only watch it when someone else has it on the TV, and I only enjoy it because it’s simple.  Sometimes you need simplicity in order to relax, unwind, or gather a giggle.

It’s a simple show, and I don’t think it’s creators nor its network ever intended it to be complicated.  Well, shit just got real complicated!

In case you haven’t checked your Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/SnapChat/LinkedIn feed today…

Phil Robertson of the reality show, Duck Dynasty was put on indefinite "hiatus" by A&E, part-owned by Walt Disney Co. for his remarks to GQ magazine characterizing homosexuality as sinful behavior.

OK. So here we go.  Freedom of speech, right?  Sure.  Of course.  Yes.  Absolutely!  Everyone on the continent of North America has the right to have their own opinion, and to SPEAK their own opinion.  Phil Robertson can hate homosexuals, he can plot the death of a person with black skin, and he can publicly shame Muslims until the ducks come home!

And he can be fired.

Please people; get one thing straight here.  This isn’t about freedom of speech.  It isn’t about religion either, so you can all stop quoting the Bible or high-fiving your Heathen brothers.

This is about business.  If the A&E network doesn’t feel it is in the best interest of their company to seemingly endorse homophobic opinions (guilty by association perhaps?), then they have the right to take action.

Let’s all settle down.  I got suspended in high school for smokin’ in the girls’ room, and it all worked out in the end.  Phil is fine.  They are all fine, and filthy rich.  And for you, their fans?  There are plenty of other “simple” shows out there.  Grab a TV Guide or the clicker.

And since this is MY blog, and I’m not being paid a damn thing to write it…

“If you are gay, I’m totally OK!” – Stephanie Platt

Square One

You know that feeling you get when you lose your phone?  Like, "Shit.  All of my contacts!  Shit.  I had so many songs on there.  Shit.  My pictures of Charlie from the day I brought him home up until now were all on there!"  You know that feeling, right?  That feeling of having to start back at square one?  At an early age we learn that starting back at square one is the pits.  It's scary, terrible, and it pretty much means the end of the world.  

So, it is with great pleasure that I bring you this newly discovered, very important aspect about "square one", that is absolutely essential to know, remember, and live:

...

Square One, is bullshit.

...

Complete bullshit.  It doesn't exist.  It's not real.  Square one is nothing more than an illusion and a myth.

I vividly remember playing Monopoly with my family as a kid.  Back then, I wasn't really sure of the rules.  I didn't know when I could buy a property, how to pay for it, or why I would even want to.  I mean, why does one little doggy need to own a whole big hotel anyway?  What I did know, was that I should try to avoid jail, and that you don't want to start all over again.  Oh, and that my sister was going to cheat.  Monopoly is a game intended to mirror life.  But that's just the thing; it is a game.  It's not real.

In reality, I don't think life works anything like a boardgame.  The rules don't really apply, and there is never a clear winner nor loser.  You can't be made to start back at square one...but why the hell would you ever want to?

The recent and devastating flooding in Calgary this June left many people feeling like they have lost everything.  I'm sure the terms "starting over" and "back to square one", were as common as the pumps and vacuum trucks occupying our city.  I don't intend to dilute the severity of what was in fact lost during the flood, but rather shed light on the intangible items that prevent "total loss" from being possible.

See, you can move to a new city and change your career a million times.  You can breakup or makeup as often as you please.  You can win a lottery or lose every penny in your savings account.  But you're never actually starting over.  No matter what "new beginning" you seek out or are forced into, your lessons, memories, and experiences gained will remain forever.  They're not always happy, or easy, or fun but these are the things that give you something to build on.  The things that can never be washed away, and certainly never lost.  Though sometimes we all feel like we've lost our minds, or have a broken heart... :) you're mind and heart are really all you need to posses.  So, please kiss the fear of "square one" goodbye.  

Maybe I should buy a property for me and my little dog.  It would be a good investment.  ...  And you know, I'll probably still avoid going to jail.  Bail sounds expensive and orange isn't my colour.  ...  Also, there is definitely something to be said about playing by the rules and frowning on the cheaters.

But I'll never have to start back at square one, because I know that "square one" doesn't exist.  And it never really did.