Recovery or Ruin?

Ingredients Needed:

- 32 year old male, about to get married

- 35 year old male, divorced, 3 kids, single

- 32 year old female, divorced, 3 kids, single

- 43 year old female, divorced, 2 kids, in a relationship-ish

- Me

Directions:

Stand all 5 ingredients together in an office space after 5 pm on a Monday.  Prompt relationship conversation.  Allow ingredients to sit for 30 to 35 minutes, or until visibly discouraged and defeated by self realizations.

Result:

The road to recovery, or the recipe for ruin?

Today I found myself in a rare work-place situation.  There we were, 5 grown adults with no apparent need to rush out the door at 5 pm.  No events to host nor meetings to attend, no supper to cook nor kids to pick up, no...(wait, what is it that I do?)...ANYWAY...What do single people do when stumbling into a conversation?  Turn it into a relationship therapy session!  Just last night a city in our province was burnt down by villainous forest fires, but we chose to talk about ourselves.

As the conversation circled around and around, it quickly took the shape of an A.A. meeting.  You know the type, even if you've never been to one in real life you've seen it in the movies.  Everyone in the group is there for the same reason.  They have a problem.  The same problem.  In our case it was a shared fear of relationships/commitment.  We all had a different root to the problem, but a similar problem non the less.  The only thing missing was the awkward, "Hi, I'm Stephanie, and I have a problem." followed by some high pitched microphone feedback.

One of us has a self declared abandonment issue.  One of us has a hard time trusting people.  One of us thrives on the new and exciting.  One thought the clock was ticking.  One refused to admit to any problem.

We complained about men, and bad mouthed women.  Nothing new there.  We agreed and disagreed, sympathized and judged, and said things out loud that were tough to admit to ourselves let alone to other people.  We talked...and most importantly, we listened.

It really only lasted for half an hour, and as I walked to my vehicle after I instantly felt good.  I felt like I just had a break through session with a highly recommended and wildly over priced therapist.

Ahhhhh... :) See Stephanie...you're not crazy.  They get you.  You're gonna be just fine!  You're on the road to recovery!

This euphoric moment was quickly interrupted though when the over-thinker inside me realized that I had just found comfort in the words spoken by those affected by THE SAME DISEASE!!!!!

Was it like a heroin addict telling you how to "get clean" while shooting up?  A doctor prescribing you the patch then going out back for a smoke?  A fat chick instructing an aerobics class?!?!!!!

I was suddenly a bit frightened.  I have been confiding in people who are no pros!  At the same time, I too have been speaking as an authority on a subject I so clearly no nothing about.  I don't think it's a good idea for 5 people with the same problem to spend any amount of time trying to help each other over come and over power that issue.  It would be like forming a team of pyromaniacs and sending them to fight that forest fire. They wouldn't be able to do anything but fuel it!  This was NOT group therapy...this was a natural disaster!

I've spent the rest of the evening searching my mind's resources for the kind of help I need.

Who knows best?  Who has the answers?  Who are the relationship pros?  Who do I know and trust that has really mastered the technique of being happy with someone?  Uh-oh...*DUH-DUH-DUUUUUUUUH* Dan and Pauline...Platt.  My PARENTS.  The most disgustingly happy couple I have ever seen in both fiction and reality.  EVER.  Now, my little mommy is going to be just thrilled to read this, and since I thought of them I can't seem to think of any other sources of comparable knowledge and experience.  BUT...I better think this through.  Am I ready to admit that they have been right about every guy I have ever dated since I was 14 years old?  That's like accepting defeat by a life long opponent.  Hmmmmm...

Well, ahh...ummm, ya know...Come to think of it...Oh!!!  Maybe I'll generously donate my Platt Parents Therapy Time to my co-workers instead!  Yeah!  That's what I'll do.  It's only fair.  After all, I'm only 24 and haven't even gone through my first marriage yet.  There's plenty of time to source out other methods of distinguishing my wild fire, that don't involve Dan and Pauline Defeat.  In the mean time, I'll just avoid those relationship flammables!