Hear That? Me Neither!

Have you ever slept with a fan?  I'm not referring to a person who is enthusiastic about an interest.  Nope.  I'm talking about a blower of air.  I'm sure psychologists around the world could come up with all sorts of negative diagnoses of my neurosis, but I sleep with a fan every night and do not plan on stopping! 

Since I was a small child possibly as young as age 4, I have been obsessed with falling asleep to the steady sound of an electric fan.  At first I was only allowed to have a small fan in my room on warm summer nights.  I specifically remember one evening when I asked my mom if it was hot enough for a fan, and as soon as she nodded I immediately told her I was tired and wanted to go to sleep right away.  I was about 5 years old, it was 6 pm, and the sun was still shining.  That's how much I loved sleeping with a fan then, and like any true love, my fan love continued to grow every day.  I am now 24 years old, and sleep with a roaring jet engine like fan right beside my bed...365 days a year.  Yep.  I'm a grown adult who needs a sound-making sleeping aid...Because it drowns everything out!  The TV in the living room, dishes clinking in the kitchen, neighbor man mowing his grass at 6 am.  EVERYTHING!

I live in what is considered the "Getto" of Red Deer, Lower Fairview.  My condo is pretty fantastic and because of it's location, my rent is rediculously low.  I figured I'm a pretty tough bitch, so I signed the lease.  I hear a wide variety of sketchy sounds on the regular that I could really do without.  Some days I can overhear a classic white trash domestic dispute going down across the parking lot.  A few months ago I heard a SWAT team bust into the condo above me.  Why...just yesterday evening I heard 3 gun shots (I quickly discovered that they were in fact fireworks, but not before shitting my pants just a little).  Those kind of sounds are easy enough to escape from during the day when I can leave my house, but when the night is upon me even within my own apartment walls I might fall subject to obnoxious and uncomfortable sounds (my roommate and her man friend bumping uglies)...IF I didn't have my fan! 

Thank god for my Aloha Breeze.  Without it I may be forced to choose between cheap rent in a nice condo, and...sleep and sanity. 

If you have trouble sleeping, or live in the Getto, or have a jerk partner with a snoring condition who can't figure out how to successfully snort Dristan...please be advised - ANYTHING you don't want to hear can be downed out with the right high-powered fan.  

The only problem is...when I find myself stuck in one of those super irritating one-sided conversations, with someone who is carrying on about something that interests me less than water chestnuts...I end up dangerously close to inviting them into my bed!

*The Aloha Breeze can be found at the following locations: Walmart, Canadian Tire, Home Depot, Home Building Centre, Zellers*

WARNING: May significantly increase electric bill.